Post-pregnancy sex

Post-pregnancy sex & breastfeeding

Q. We have a baby who is 6 months old. My wife is breastfeeding and wants to continue doing so until the baby reaches 9 months. Now my question is this: is it ok if I drink her breast milk during sex? Is there any harm if I drink it whenever we do have sex? She is not ready for it and is now avoiding sex with me, but I want to have sex at least once a week. Can you help?

A. There are many advantages to breastfeeding. The milk is rich in antibodies, protecting infants from disease, illness and infection; its ingredients are tailor made to provide babies the right form of protein and nutrients. The first part of the breast feed, known as foremilk, is watery and meant to quench a baby’s thirst. The second part, the hindmilk, is thicker and higher in calories. It is very important for baby to complete the feed cycle from each breast; otherwise, he might become restless and potentially develop colic. Breast-feeding is also comforting and nurturing for both tired mum and nursing babe.

With that said, there’s nothing wrong with you having a taste every once in a while, but seriously, leave some for the baby! They are the one that really ought to have priority on her, for both cognitive and physical development. A father’s support during the months of breastfeeding a baby are critical, so as much as you want to have sex with your wife, hounding her with expectations for sex and milk will likely only turn her off more! It’s pretty likely that your wife feels like a dairy queen right now. Having baby being entirely dependent on her for food and you trying to latch on every chance you get probably makes her feel like she’s nursing two demanding babies. Stop to think that there might only be a limited about of milk supply to go around. What about how sore her nipples must feel from having a baby constantly suckling on them? Did you know that some women lose the ability altogether to become aroused when breastfeeding? While they’re being used as a milk factory, the thought of you doing anything erotic with her breasts probably puts her off.

Nursing and being a new mom is tough work. Her body has just gone through a massive transition, so anything you can do to ease the process will relieve her stress, so that yes, eventually she’ll have sex with you. Try being enthusiastic and supportive: when the baby cries at night, get up and change him before passing him to your wife to feed; when she’s busy nursing, offer to bring her juice to drink, and a book to read; or, simply just keep her company.

Being considerate of her feelings and inclinations will likely make her more considerate of yours. Talk to her calmly and rationally about your own needs – in fairness, 9 months with little, or no, sex is not reasonable. Discuss and compromise on how both your needs might be met; if full intercourse is a problem, perhaps other forms of sex may not be! Also, if she does not want to participate in your sex & milk play, then drop it! In any case, direct that sexual angst towards behavior that will pay off for you both. Helping her through the process will put her at ease and create an emotional environment that is much more conducive to desire and intimacy.

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