Back In The Day When Famous N*pples Were Fun

Kelly Rowland Nip Slip Box pop culture

I wasn't before, but NOW I can really be your motivation.

So Nicki Minaj and Kelly Rowland are the latest victims of the power of the smartphone. One of Nicki’s nips peeked out on Good Morning America much to the dismay of soccer moms everywhere. Not because they saw a nipple, they’re soccer moms – they look at eachother’s nipples daily while breastfeeding at Starbucks. Nope, they were confused because they just can’t understand why such a nice young lady would call herself a “motherf*cking MOOOOONSTER”.

Kelly Rowland on the other hand had the double-fecta. She had a double nipslip when the obviously too small leather-esque top she had on rose to the occasion and refused to fall down like Donnie McClurkin at a PRIDE festival. I find her slip funny because it isn’t like she’s a dancer or anything. And even if she does some dance moves, she’s not exactly pulling out the Beyonce dance moves. Basically, if Kelly ever falls down in concert its because she’s clumsy, not because she’s putting in work. Kind of like Michelle’s clumsy behind. So yeah, to me the only explanation for Kelly’s slip is that her top was too small to hotbox with God. Which is a shame since, well, she’s not that big in the first place. Who the hell did she get that joint from? Jada Pinkett?

Now, I enjoyed both of those slips. A lot. Kelly’s specifically. See, Kelly has this whole good girl faking like a bad girl thing going. “Motivation” could have been a Ciara or Keri Hilson (what the hell happened to her?) song with ease. Kelly’s so sweet and nice that seeing her nipples is like the win of all wins. Because you’re just not supposed to. Unlike somebody like Nicki Minaj’s whose you kind of expect to see at some point anyway. Still great but the enjoyment is much shorter.

Which brings me to my point…nude pics of celebs just aren’t as fun as they used to be. It used to be a treat to catch a naked pic of a celeb. It was like Christmas. I remember when Toni Braxton bore her boobs for whichever publication it was. Good times. The Stacey Dash spread…that sh*t was better than Watch The Throne and an MJ comeback.

Sidenote: Lots of things seem to be better than Watch The Throne. Watching a caterpillar double dutch perhaps. At least you’ve never seen that before. This album sounds like it should be dope and yet I’m kind of over it already. Perhaps after repeated listens I’ll learn to love it but there’s something missing. Oh yeah, dopeness.

Now, you almost have to attempt to avoid nude celebs. Even the damn Disney and Nick kids are getting into the act. And frankly, I’m tired of it. Not because of the erosion of society. I’m upset because now I’m desensitized to seeing naked people all up and thru the websites. Sure I see lots of naked pr0n stars, but thats what they do. Be naked. I miss the days when a Janet Jackson nipple actually meant that an angel was getting its wings. Not anymore though. Just yesterday I was outside and Michelle Obama flashed the nation. Okay, that didn’t happen but you get my point. Give me that old time religion where seeing a nudey pic of Kelly Rowland would actually incite a fervor everywhere. It used to mean something.

It’s not lost on me how ridiculous this is. Truly it isn’t. But you have to at least understand where I’m coming from. It’s like everybody finding the greatest place on earth…it ceases to be the greatest place. Just ask Eminem and his craptastic albums as of late.

I want to feel like people felt when Vanessa Williams exposed all to Playboy. Like right now, there’s virtually no celeb that anybody wants to see naked of the boobed persuasion that we haven’t seen. It’s not even doing anything for their careers anymore its just another day at the office. And I’m tired of it!

Ladies, I realize that most of you either don’t know, don’t show, or just don’t care about all of the nudey nipslips and naked pics floating around of celebs. Hell you all felt like you got thrown a bone (PUN) when Idris Elba got to swangin’ in that scene in Takers. And I’m guessing all the wang shots of athletes and rappers don’t quite move you anyway. Or do they?

So, to make it more global, are we all just too desensitized to sex nowadays? Do you even notice or care when this stuff happens?

Interesting sidenote: I grew up in Europe (for those that didn’t know). Women used to sunbathe topless all the time. After a while boobs lost their effectiveness but I never got tired of seeing them as a youngster. I wonder what’s happened? Maybe I’m just desensitized to the sex I don’t get to be apart of. Seeing it in person is always a great experience. Send me pics. Thank you – The Management

-VSB P aka THE ARSONIST aka MR. AFROSHEEN TUCLEEN aka GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRL HE A 3 WITH AAA CREDIT FROM S&P, MARRY HIM

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